Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
