I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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