C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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