If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
