i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
