My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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