So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
