Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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