??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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