he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
People in love make me want to vomit
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
