So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
