No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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