I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
