Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
