cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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