Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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