not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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