More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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