READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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