Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize