Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
