To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
