I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
