i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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