the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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