The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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