If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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