she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
