remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
