he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
