well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize