can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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