omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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