She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
