dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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