Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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