we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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