before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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