I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
