How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
