Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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