I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
