Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
