Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize