I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize