It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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