I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
