just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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