I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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