so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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