Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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