Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize