D3 body, D1 cock
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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