I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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