I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
