it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The struggles of a small town man whore
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
