i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I need water and some morals
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
