I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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