im six kinds of drunk right now
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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