I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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