"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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